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Do you have relationship first aid?

In recent days, both Coach Hoover and I have heard of stories of relationship crisis.

You might have heard of similar stories. In fact, you might be experiencing that in your own life. When that happens, what should you do?

In wilderness, although not very often, sometimes we might experience some safety or medical emergency. That’s why as coaches, we always carry a first aid kit in our backpack. We came prepared. So, when accidents happen, we can stop bleeding and that might have saved a life.

Similarly, we created a relationship first aid. Actually, most by Coach Hoover and I just added a couple of them. Here you go:

  • Be very patient.
  • Be very humble.
  • Say sorry.
  • Ask forgiveness.
  • Show gratitude.
  • Give each other breaks.
  • Reduce work pressure.
  • Discover the beauty of your kids.
  • Create fun.
  • Encourage each other.
  • Speak each other’s love language
  • Let tears fall.
  • Don’t try to fix each other.
  • Embrace — for a long while.
  • Try to understand more than to be understood.
  • Commit to not raising your voices.
  • Don’t demand things.
  • Do say please and thank you.
  • Read 1 Cor 13 on love each day
  • Read Psalm 23 daily.
  • Pray the Lord’s Prayer daily.
  • Sing songs daily.
  • Give your work over to God each day.
  • Read Proverbs 3:5-8 daily.
  • Watch a good movie or a TV series together.
  • Say, “I love you.”
  • Meet Jesus each morning and evening in a special time of reading, reflection and prayer.
  • Pray a blessing for your spouse.
  • Depend on close friends.
  • Never say anything that you will regret.
  • Write a note to tell them how much you love them.
  • Examine if your expectations are reasonable.
  • Read a book and learn from some wise people.
  • No matter how bad your marriage is, never say the “D” word!

And after you have done all these things, then repeat as needed daily.

The key thing is to use some small but persistent “love” actions to stop bleeding. It may not solve the fundamental problem, but it will earn you some time and space to find a solution. After you are able to stop bleeding, take some deep breaths, have more conversation or find a counselor to work with.

Do you have a relationship first aid? What’s in your relationship first aid? Share with us any ideas you have!

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